I must admit that I haven't followed this thread as closely as I could -
partly because it doesn't all show up in  my newsreader and partly
because I am tired of people focusing on how people say things more than
what was said.

Yes, rhetoric is very important.  Isn't that what the discussion is
about?  I am sick of men feeling put upon when asked to take some
responsibility for male behavior (ie: "don't put me in jail because
someone whistled at you...").  We are ALL responsible for the cultural
and emotional environment in our community.  If you don't have a problem
with their behavior and don't actively discourage it, then yes you ARE
responsible for the later repecussions when some schmuck who never
learned healthy sexual commication skills rapes his girlfriend out of
frustration, when all he wants is a warm embrace.

Margaret is not responsible for this because she encourages open
discourse on sex, not repression of urges or sex-used-as-power crap. 
And because she's aware of gender dynamics in porn and watches out for
the bullshit.  More porn should come from Margaret and less from the
likes of Larry Flynt.