grady wrote:
> 
> I'm like the typhoid mary of good cheer.

Speaking of which, I had a wonderfully Grinchy moment last night at 
Peppers. I was walking along Franklin, after going through 40 
Independents in front of the Taco Bell, pulling out those coupons for 
free coffee from Starbucks (good until 12/24, and they let you get $3 
drinks like a Mocha Valencia with them, I have tons of 'em, just ask, 
funny I never thought I'd wish for *more* Starbucks in the Triangle, 
talk about yer Walmartesque deep pockets, jeez, putting them in the Indy 
an extra slick move because then they get their coupons falling out on 
the floor of other coffee shops, nice, but anyway you have one week to 
get as many free $3 coffee drinks from Starbucks as you can, before 
ignoring them until they give away free stuff again next year, so go to 
it, like I said, I have 40 of the damn things, just ask), looking for a 
locally-owned place to eat, and I decide on Peppers but when I walk by 
what to my wondering eyes should appear but a bunch of middle-aged 
people singing right inside the door (shit), blocking the recycling bin 
where they keep the newspapers (double shit, I had nothing with me to 
read and I was counting on those papers) and I look in at a girl sitting 
at the counter, we both roll our eyes, and I walk on.

But then I turn around and go in, because dammit I was set on that 
poppyseed dressing, and I'll be damned if some Xmess carolers are going 
to interfere with my dinner and yeah I fucking hate the Xmess season and 
not just because I'm Jewish my dad dated shickses all the time and we 
had Xmess trees right next to the menorahs when I was growing up so 
whatever I just hate the omnipresence of it all and the *truly* 
*horrible* music and the Tickle-Me-Elmoish greedhead lunacy so I go in, 
make a point of ignoring the carolers in midsong, put in my order and 
sit down, staring straight ahead as the sounds of Yet Another Xmess Song 
surround me. The best part is when the carolers stop and there's minor 
applause, and I glance across at them and see them looking back, all 
earnest and half-smiling, as if they're *begging* us to like them and 
I'm like shit, fuck off, cause Jesus was a punk if he was anything at 
all and if he was going to sing lameass music at strangers he wouldn't 
give two shits if they liked him, he'd just fucking do it, and the "like 
us like us like us" look in those people's eyes just put me even deeper 
into ignore-these-fucks mode and I was actually enjoying the minor 
discomfort I saw in them as they tried to figure out what to do next, 
and I think to myself you know, I'd respect them a whole lot more if 
they did this sort of thing when it wasn't the fucking Xmess season, 
without the cover that Xmess provides, without the safety and the just 
plain boringness of it all.

And here it comes, another lameass played out Xmess tune, and me and the 
counterguy are yelling over the noise at each other to get my order 
straight, and I ask the girl next to me if I can borrow her NYT Book 
Review and she says sure and now I have a legitimate prop to ignore 
these fucks with and I do, reading some interesting book reviews while 
they wail at the side of my head a few feet away. I'm being grinchy as 
hell and it feels good.

But this is Chapel Hill, after all, and what's next but a song I 
recognize from one of Sweet Honey In The Rock's CDs, "Babethandaza" or 
something, and I really *really* like that song, and here they are, 8 or 
10 middle-class-looking white Chapel Hill liberals, crammed into the 
front of Peppers, belting it out, and I can't help but like the way it 
sounds, all rhythmic and loud, and goddammit I can't help but smile, a 
smile at how much better this music is, and how odd it sounds coming 
from these people in this setting, and it's also a smile at myself, at 
how angry and closed off this shit makes me, even tho I claim to love 
community and breaking down barriers through music and freakiness, and 
I'm trying hard to see the Xmess carolers as doing their best to be 
freaky, by going up and down Franklin Street, caroling their little 
hearts out, but then the song stops and as I join in the minor applause, 
I glance up and see those damn "like us like us like us" eyes again and 
they're so damn needy it's really disgusting and then it's gone, the 
smile's gone, and all I see is a bunch of rude fuckers screaming in 
public at people who don't care, exhorting us into some sort of "Xmess 
spirit" which is a complete crock of shit, a completely lame unknowing 
attempt at some vague sort of TAZ, devoid of anything which really 
connects spiritually, a baldfaced lie of a stab at community, a complete 
and utter failure to rise above the crud that passes for religion 
(despite the multiculti approach, thank you very much), and all I want 
to do is piss all over it like Jopus' little cousin. Grrr.

When the carolers finally left there was a moment's pause before Ian 
Mackaye's screams filled the air. I don't want to speak for anyone else 
in the place, but the sigh of relief was palpable.

todd tickle this you lunatic Xmess motherfuckers morman